Most of us are either feeling relatively happy or unhappy from moment to moment, and we see only one not the other. Some people would rather be certain they are miserable than risk being happy. But the majority of us are all searching for happiness without sorrow, joy without bounds and an inner peace that surpasses all understanding. However, we first have to seek and destroy the unwanted and unnecessary baggage that wears us down. I prefer to call it “Take Out the Trash”.

We are all born with an innate ability to let go. Infants and small children do it effortlessly. Because this ability was not under our conscious control, over time we forget how to do it and we live our lives by internalizing every fear, every anxiety and every hurt we have ever experienced. We stack it and pack it and carry it with us. We become overwhelmed with grief, resentment, anger and frustration.

I think it is fair to say that most people believe that life experiences are a function of what happens around them. But the fact is true life experiences are a function of how we relate to what happens. Each person’s outer world is a reflection of their inner thoughts and ideas.

Only you can decide what reaction you have to the events of your life. You choose if you see something as an opportunity to show your true colors, or a sign that you should just give up, be angry, frustrated, happy or sad.

No one makes us happy or scared, excited or sad. Our emotions don’t happen to us, we decide how we feel. In fact, our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are the only things we really do control in our lives. We can always change what we think feel or do, but first we have to accept where we are and own the experience. After all we alone created the experience.

You cannot resolve sadness you deny, you cannot forgive yourself for a behavior you will not admit to or change any part of you that you insist does not exist. To change and grow, first accept the reality of who you are.

No matter what is going on in your life, no matter how you feel in response to a specific experience, circumstance, situation or memory, there is always one thing you can do. In any situation regardless of the mitigating factors, you can decide that instead of fighting and resisting whatever is going on in your life, you can make peace with it, embrace it and learn from it.

Try not to live you life imprisoned in your past or fixated on your future. Learn to exist in the present moment and choose to be happy. Concentrate on the here and now—it is your life, participate in it!

Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like nobody’s watching.